“2009 was a difficult year”, admitted Ralf. A trough in the wave of life if you will. Now, he started 2010 with a lot of hope, assuming that the only way forward was up the hill. And it felt pretty darn good. However, the first 15 days of the year remained remarkably mediocre. Nothing really seemed to have changed. He still questions the things he’s doing in life because somehow he constantly falls short of that elusive phase of satisfaction. His life still seems like a series of forks in a road, choices that can determine his path, decisions capable of leading to a plethora of destinations. As he tries to catch a glimpse of the future, he often finds himself looking back over his shoulders. Maybe sometimes the best way of deliberating on the future is to reflect on the life gone by, he feels. After all, it is a short life.
Talking of the past, what better way to start than at the back of his closet. In the back of his closet, behind the rows of comic books, lies a set of old, beaten-up photo albums lying dusty and neglected. On a sudden impulse, Ralf clears out the comic books, and plunges his fingers into the void beyond and gently lifts the albums out of their hiding spot. Holding the album in his hand, in a moment’s time he is taken back to bits and pieces of his life. The flashbacks of all the times, good and bad. Memories that he has long since neglected and almost forgotten, flood his mind. With each passing frame, he feels, sees, and hears the images fall bluntly in place.
It is a warm summer afternoon, and he’s standing in front of a grumpy old man, extending his arms out for his routine beatings. He is six years old. He has just learnt this really awesome new word called ‘Why?’. And so he asks, ‘Why must things happen and why should he waste his time on irrelevant homework?’. Little did he realize at that time that the question has baffled the greatest minds of all time. Instead, he feels a little let-down and dubious of this random old man claiming to lead him towards a path of greater understanding. Authors, artists and scholars have attempted to explain this word, but each has given a different interpretation. It is a remarkable word. He sometimes ponders, perhaps its complexity lies in its simplicity. When used alone, it may pose a question that few, if any, are able to answer. Going home, he decides that maybe this word is taboo, like that other ‘S’ word. He decides to curtail its usage, at least for the next few decades.
Now he’s running around the track on a dismal rainy Sunday morning. He’s in high school now. He is pumping his arms, trying to keep his legs moving. He feels light-headed and frail, needing to catch his breath, but he’s only half-way to the end. He sometimes feels he’s not in the best of shape, but he knows he must be, to be able to play all sports. At these times, he just tells himself ‘Let’s hit the track’. He has to work the hardest. That is just how he is. The track gives him his motivation; it is his escape from the present and his view to the future. He wonders if it’s as long a journey in life as it is to the end of this track. The run starts off pretty easy, but the track is circular and he cannot see the end. Eventually though, he sees the end and what path he has to take to get there. He faces obstacles and doubts, but does not let them stop him. He is determined. He reaches the end. He feels unstoppable.
He’s just blown into the room, a little late, and plops into the front seat. He’s somehow reached the revered walls of engineering college. The gray-haired lady standing in front of the class flashes him a dazzling smile. He’s just topped his class and the lady starts a rather eloquent narrative exhorting his virtues. In a few short minutes, he can’t help but notice the rather dark looks by his peers. As the lady holds up his answer sheet with a big ‘98’ circled in bold red circles, someone at the back shouts ‘what happened to the other 2 marks?’ The class bursts into laughter. He wriggles in his seat, hoping to vanish or turn invisible through the sheer power of thought. It is interesting, he observes, on how success draws more resentment than admiration from his peers. After the rather humiliating class, he makes a decision to transform himself into a harmless, clueless idiot and make his marks look like a fluke. He gradually starts to ask dizzy questions, trips and falls in the pool and dons the ‘deer in the headlights’ look when things became complicated. Eventually his acting begins to take hold, and his successes become a joke rather than a virtue.
Well, life is full of surprises. After a shockingly ridiculous score on the CAT, here he is sitting in front of the admissions team of the country’s top B-School. The rather dignified looking gentleman in front of him curiously asks, peeping over the top of his somewhat unimpressive CV, “So Ralf, what is it that you want to do in life??” He starts thinking over how to objectively and unobtrusively make himself appear as Superman to the people who will have control over his course of action for the next two years. In the hopes of finding the right formula, he thinks towards his rather-limited friend circle. Well, one of them dropped out of college and ended up a bartender in a remote country. He doesn’t think that the adcom would buy that. Another quit his job and is well, doing nothing. Hmm, not that one either. The third is busy getting married. Yeah, somehow that doesn’t fit either. Panicking by this point, he decides to..., yes, go with the truth. He puts on his most convincing accent and replies,”I want to start a comic book company” and is immediately received by a round of laughter. Well, he now knows he’ll never make it to the college and he relaxes. So, they may very well laugh at him, thinking he’s ‘the dumbest kid they’ve ever met’, but rest assured, he’s laughing along with them. He’s bright enough to know what he’s doing; after all, he did bell the CAT.
It is yesterday. And he’s sitting in front of his computer staring at acres and acres of PowerPoint presentations and wondering whether the gray font would be better than the blue one. He is 30, single, and has no clue how he ended up there. He’s realized that life has become a game of mirrors. Everyone is a reflection of someone else. Soon the reflections become more important that the people themselves. He pulls his mind away from the presentation for a couple of minutes, stares at the window to the world outside and slowly but reluctantly murmurs to himself, ”Why…?”..
Talking of the past, what better way to start than at the back of his closet. In the back of his closet, behind the rows of comic books, lies a set of old, beaten-up photo albums lying dusty and neglected. On a sudden impulse, Ralf clears out the comic books, and plunges his fingers into the void beyond and gently lifts the albums out of their hiding spot. Holding the album in his hand, in a moment’s time he is taken back to bits and pieces of his life. The flashbacks of all the times, good and bad. Memories that he has long since neglected and almost forgotten, flood his mind. With each passing frame, he feels, sees, and hears the images fall bluntly in place.
It is a warm summer afternoon, and he’s standing in front of a grumpy old man, extending his arms out for his routine beatings. He is six years old. He has just learnt this really awesome new word called ‘Why?’. And so he asks, ‘Why must things happen and why should he waste his time on irrelevant homework?’. Little did he realize at that time that the question has baffled the greatest minds of all time. Instead, he feels a little let-down and dubious of this random old man claiming to lead him towards a path of greater understanding. Authors, artists and scholars have attempted to explain this word, but each has given a different interpretation. It is a remarkable word. He sometimes ponders, perhaps its complexity lies in its simplicity. When used alone, it may pose a question that few, if any, are able to answer. Going home, he decides that maybe this word is taboo, like that other ‘S’ word. He decides to curtail its usage, at least for the next few decades.
Now he’s running around the track on a dismal rainy Sunday morning. He’s in high school now. He is pumping his arms, trying to keep his legs moving. He feels light-headed and frail, needing to catch his breath, but he’s only half-way to the end. He sometimes feels he’s not in the best of shape, but he knows he must be, to be able to play all sports. At these times, he just tells himself ‘Let’s hit the track’. He has to work the hardest. That is just how he is. The track gives him his motivation; it is his escape from the present and his view to the future. He wonders if it’s as long a journey in life as it is to the end of this track. The run starts off pretty easy, but the track is circular and he cannot see the end. Eventually though, he sees the end and what path he has to take to get there. He faces obstacles and doubts, but does not let them stop him. He is determined. He reaches the end. He feels unstoppable.
He’s just blown into the room, a little late, and plops into the front seat. He’s somehow reached the revered walls of engineering college. The gray-haired lady standing in front of the class flashes him a dazzling smile. He’s just topped his class and the lady starts a rather eloquent narrative exhorting his virtues. In a few short minutes, he can’t help but notice the rather dark looks by his peers. As the lady holds up his answer sheet with a big ‘98’ circled in bold red circles, someone at the back shouts ‘what happened to the other 2 marks?’ The class bursts into laughter. He wriggles in his seat, hoping to vanish or turn invisible through the sheer power of thought. It is interesting, he observes, on how success draws more resentment than admiration from his peers. After the rather humiliating class, he makes a decision to transform himself into a harmless, clueless idiot and make his marks look like a fluke. He gradually starts to ask dizzy questions, trips and falls in the pool and dons the ‘deer in the headlights’ look when things became complicated. Eventually his acting begins to take hold, and his successes become a joke rather than a virtue.
Well, life is full of surprises. After a shockingly ridiculous score on the CAT, here he is sitting in front of the admissions team of the country’s top B-School. The rather dignified looking gentleman in front of him curiously asks, peeping over the top of his somewhat unimpressive CV, “So Ralf, what is it that you want to do in life??” He starts thinking over how to objectively and unobtrusively make himself appear as Superman to the people who will have control over his course of action for the next two years. In the hopes of finding the right formula, he thinks towards his rather-limited friend circle. Well, one of them dropped out of college and ended up a bartender in a remote country. He doesn’t think that the adcom would buy that. Another quit his job and is well, doing nothing. Hmm, not that one either. The third is busy getting married. Yeah, somehow that doesn’t fit either. Panicking by this point, he decides to..., yes, go with the truth. He puts on his most convincing accent and replies,”I want to start a comic book company” and is immediately received by a round of laughter. Well, he now knows he’ll never make it to the college and he relaxes. So, they may very well laugh at him, thinking he’s ‘the dumbest kid they’ve ever met’, but rest assured, he’s laughing along with them. He’s bright enough to know what he’s doing; after all, he did bell the CAT.
It is yesterday. And he’s sitting in front of his computer staring at acres and acres of PowerPoint presentations and wondering whether the gray font would be better than the blue one. He is 30, single, and has no clue how he ended up there. He’s realized that life has become a game of mirrors. Everyone is a reflection of someone else. Soon the reflections become more important that the people themselves. He pulls his mind away from the presentation for a couple of minutes, stares at the window to the world outside and slowly but reluctantly murmurs to himself, ”Why…?”..
